Road Map for Life Seminars:
Everyday Addictions That Destroy Your Happiness
"All of your emotional fear stems from the belief that you're inadequate or unlovable."
~ Margaret Paul
For some many of us, process addictions are so much a part of our lives that we hardly notice them. We may go on a shopping spree after a fight with our boyfriend or stay late at the office to avoid coming home to an empty house. Some of us may eat chocolate frosted brownies to escape the pain of loneliness or sleep for hours even when we are not tired to avoid what we really feel inside.
Shopping, working, exercising and sleeping are not in and of themselves addictions. All these activities are part of life. The trouble begins when we have a secret agenda: we shop for stilettos, not because we desperately need another pair of shoes, but because it's away to avoid feeling abandoned and shamed. We may pretend that we're just being a good employee by working late when really we're staying at our desk typing because it's a way to numb the isolation and sadness inside.
When we do something to avoid pain or fear it is an addiction. We're all familiar with addictions to alcohol, drugs or tobacco. But process addictions are a different animal. They're more difficult to recognize because we have learned to treat them as a normal part of life.
What woman hasn't turned to "shopping therapy" when she was feeling a little down? How many men shoot hoops every night until they're exhausted because it distracts them from the pain they're feeling inside?
If we could take a few moments just to sit down and ask ourselves what are intent is, a new picture of ourselves will come into focus. If we stop long enough to feel our feelings, the voice we'll hear has much to tell us. Once we learn to welcome, rather than avoid these feelings, healing can begin.
The more we ask what our intent is, the more likely we are to see our process addictions slip away. Not right away, of course, but over time we notice that we're running to the store less or getting home from work earlier. Suddenly we're more serene and able to enjoy a meaningful life instead of faking it with process addictions that only cover up what we're really feeling.
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